Have you ever had that special someone who gives you goose bumps whenever they enter the room?
Well i did but pride destroyed my life and made me loose the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life. I had a good, loving, honest and faithful man. Until i ruined everything. He used to notice certain things like my new hair style, when I’m not in a good mood or even when I’m happy. he used to call just because i was in his thoughts. But my paranoia made me think that he was only being a good player. He was the kind of guy who shows up at your door unexpectedly with a bouquet of flowers, give you a warm kiss and tell you how much he loves you. To me he was monitoring my moves to see if i was with someone else.
I lost a good thing because of my pride. What happened you might ask? Well, i did the worse thing possible. I insulted his family. Don’t get me wrong it was not intentional. How was i to know that he was going out with his mother and not on a date with a sugar mommy?
How do you leave me at home and tell me you are going out for drinks and don’t give me details? The universe should have guidelines and dating rules to help people like me not end up where i am right now. And where is that? On my sofa eating ice cream and singing along to unbreak my heart by Toni Braxton. I had to loose him to realize that i have been a big fool to undermine his love. His love was pure but i categorized him in the group of ‘ all men are dogs’. Yes, he was a dog, but he was a faithful, loyal, sweet, romantic dog that had eyes for only me.
I wish i had a time machine so that i can go back in time and undo everything, but i can’t. I can only apologize and hope that some day he will find it in his heart to forgive me and move passed the hurt and pain i caused him. I hope this doesn’t change him but only makes him a better person in life. I know it has certainly changed me and opened my eyes to see the good in people.
Now all i do is cry. My heart aches because i see him everywhere. I cry for the time that he was mine, i cry for the memories he left behind, i cry for the pain, but most of all i cry for the times i knew i had him.
xoxo,
African Queen.
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